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A Snarkist’s trip through Gooberville

I swear on my momma’s grave, I will NOT go all political on your heinie, but the Cosmic Librarian whacked me upside the head with His/Her/Its sack of irony and I couldn’t resist telling you about this. Although I’ve had to sit on this newsletter for a few weeks, waiting out Tuesday’s special election in Alabama. It really happened, although the adverbs have been changed to protect the insolent.

I walked into B & N, looking for snark to blog about. I went to the humor section, naturally, closed my eyes and picked a book off the bottom shelf at random. What I came away with from my closed-eyes pluck from the bottom of the humor section was, The Liberal Redneck’s Manifesto: Draggin’ Dixie Outta The Dark by Trae Crowder, Corey Forrester and Drew Morgan.

Trust me, this all happened before the recent Kluster Kurfuffle over the Alabama senate candidate and his predilection for assaulting young girls, but it certainly provides insight into the mindset of the Alabamans who still support him, viciously, even though the “New South” won out and elected a Democrat by a very narrow margin.

The book was published after Crowder had become a YouTube sensation as “The Liberal Redneck,” with his angry rants against the small-minded, hypocritical, alt-right attitudes of the Southerners. That’s where he grew up and he still lives in their midst. I think, even if you are not so liberal, it’s funny stuff.

“If sweet tea is the table wine of the South, Mountain Dew is the house vodka.”

It helped me understand the mindset of Alabama’s governor, and those like her, who said she believed the Republican Roy Moore did molest little girls long ago, but she was voting for him because that was better than voting for any Democrat. The book gave me appreciation for all the Southerners who have to fight back against the perception that they ALL live in Gooberville.

That’s why the book doesn’t don’t cut any slack for the elitist liberals who are politically bigoted and lump all Southerners into the same hand basket of deplorables as ignorant hicks. He’s out to prove them wrong, too. And the book winds up being an intelligent plea for sanity across the board. And how-dee, we could use a mess of that about now. I’m just sayin’…

Drumroll please:

Our latest bad sentence from the Bulwer-Lytton contest comes from Stan Hunter Kranc in State College, Pennsylvania:
darkandstormy

As he girded himself against the noxious, sulfurous fumes that belched from the chasm in preparation for descent into the bowels of the mountain where mighty pressure and unimaginable heat made rock run in syrupy rivers, Bob paused to consider the unlikely series of events that had led him to become the Great God Vulcan’s proctologist.